Most of us spend our days pinging from one demand to the next—emails, texts, meetings, family needs—responding in real time without much thought. But there’s a difference between reacting and responding. One is automatic. The other is conscious.
When we react, we let our past experiences, stress, or ego take the wheel. We’re looking at the situation through the cloudy lens of our F.L.A.B. (Fears, Labels, Attachments, and Beliefs). Here, the false self or Personal Mind (the ego) is in control.
In contrast, when we respond, we’re able to see more objectively, because what we see is not clouded by our F.LA.B. To do this, we need to pause, even if only briefly (this is the essence of what Br. David Steindl-Rast means by “Stop” in his mantra, Stop/Look/Go).
This isn’t easy (at least, it’s not for me), particularly for action-oriented individuals who are accustomed to “driving forward” in order to feel a sense of progress.
But the question is, do you want to feel in control, or do you want to feel happy and peaceful? The two are not synonymous. Nor does “stopping” mean anything passive. Quite to the contrary. A momentary pause to check in, to allow your higher self to reassert its role in guiding the next step, is far more conducive to “right action” than is the knee-jerk response of our Personal Mind. You are now able to choose how you want to show up.
Why This Matters for The 3 Life Questions
- Living Authentically — Pausing between stimulus and action gives you space to respond from your values, not your conditioning.
- Building Meaningful Relationships — A thoughtful response creates trust and understanding. A snap reaction can erode it.
- Making the World Better — Your presence and self-awareness can ripple outward. One kind, grounded response can shift an entire moment—or day—for someone else.
How to Practice the Pause
- Notice the Trigger — Catch the moment when you feel the urge to react: tension, defensiveness, urgency.
- Take a Breath — Literally. One deep breath shifts your nervous system.
- Ask: What would my True Self say or do here?
It doesn’t take long. Just a moment. But it gives you back your power—the power to choose how you live, how you relate to yourself and to others, and how you lead.
Your Challenge This Week:
Pick one recurring trigger (a person, situation, or time of day). Practice pausing when it arises. Take a breath. Then respond from your center—not from the script of your past.