Time and again, I hear the same thing from successful leaders: despite their accomplishments, their wealth, and the respect they’ve earned, something is missing. There’s an emptiness they can’t quite put their finger on—an underlying sense that their success hasn’t delivered the fulfillment they expected.
I understand that feeling because I’ve been there myself. After more than 35 years as an attorney, business executive, entrepreneur, and coach, I know what it’s like to hit every benchmark of success and still feel that something essential is missing.
In fact, this persistent sense of emptiness—despite all outward success—led me to develop what I now call The 3 Life Questions™. These Questions have not only helped me find greater clarity and purpose but have become a powerful tool in guiding my clients toward more meaningful and rewarding lives.
Over the next several posts, I’ll be sharing “Lessons from the Road: What I’ve Learned (So Far) About Answering The 3 Life Questions.” My hope is that these insights will help you reconnect with what truly matters, so you find the sense of peace and fulfillment that traditional measures of success alone do not provide.
So, what are The 3 Life Questions?
- Am I living authentically?
- Am I cultivating meaningful relationships?
- Am I making the world a little better?
These Questions draw their inspiration from the work of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose research on death and dying uncovered what truly matters to people when they know their time on Earth is short.
Regardless of culture, gender, or background, those nearing the end of their lives often asked themselves variations of these three Questions, in the past tense of retrospection (“Did I live . . .? Did I cultivate . . .? Did I make . . .?”) Those who could confidently answer “Yes!” found a sense of peace; those who could not, felt deep regret.
Dr. Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor, also profoundly influenced The 3 Life Questions. As he was completing his seminal book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl gave a lecture in Vienna in which he observed, “It is not we who are permitted to give life meaning. It is life that asks the questions. We are the ones who must answer the essential life questions” (emphasis mine).
Frankl’s observation, coupled with Dr. Kübler-Ross’s research, made me realize that I had been seeking meaning through my achievements, expecting my work and success to provide the answers. But the truth is: life itself asks the questions, from day to day and even from moment to moment. It’s up to us to deliver the answers.
And if our answers to life’s questions ultimately establish meaning in our lives, then waiting until we approach the end is madness. That’s why I’ve framed The 3 Life Questions in the present tense—turning them into a daily practice rather than a retrospective exercise.
By asking ourselves The 3 Life Questions throughout the day, we shift our focus to what truly matters now. We create alignment among who we are (and who we are becoming), the relationships that matter most, and the impact we are attempting to have.
As you reflect on your own journey, I invite you to consider:
- How might you benefit from incorporating The 3 Life Questions into your daily life?
- What would it take to begin answering “Yes!” to these Questions today?
- What small change will you make right now to bring your life in alignment with what truly matters to you?
I believe The 3 Life Questions represent at least some of the “essential life questions” to which Dr. Frankl alluded. In future posts, I’ll be sharing more about each Question—breaking them down, offering insights from other thought leaders, and providing practical ways to integrate them into your daily life.
The journey to fulfillment doesn’t start with more applause or another achievement; it starts with asking the right Questions, and then developing your unique answers.
It’s never too late—or too soon—to begin.
If you’d like to chat briefly about applying The 3 Life Questions in your own life, please schedule a complimentary, 30-minute conversation.